Friday, May 27, 2016

HOMELESS MAN IDENTIFIES AS WARREN BUFFET: Demands Access To His Bank Account

The latest case of identitarian fluidity has authorities,  experts and other  hustlers pondering deeply over their fields of study,  material reality and Beyonce's latest album.

Dr. Felice DePublica, Chair of the Committee to Investigate Serious Sophomoric Yearnings, said "We're looking into this as both a mind boggling legal, psychological and social dilemma totally removed from toilet use but having serious potential impact on market forces, individual achievements, amassed personal fortunes, and our own careers.

The homeless man said he has long identified as Buffet but refrained from "coming out", fearing that he might be seen as simply looking for money rather than seeking to publicly acknowledge the billionaire he really was and not the destitute, homeless person who  had no  access to a toilet - public or private  - in years.

 " I am not seeking anything that isn't really mine since I am Warren Buffet."Asked how that could be true since there was already a well known person named Warren Buffet, the man said " There could be two of us identifying as the same being..it's no different than me identifying as a woman or a racoon or a presidential candidate. Wait a minute..do you think I have any resemblance to Donald Trump? Or Hillary Clinton?"

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